A vital loving relationship is like a fire where both partners have to add more wood for it to stay warm.

Who would consider it a realistic expectation that one’s own car will serve faithful and dutiful for years without regular maintenance?

And yet we often do have exactly that expectation when it comes to our own relationship. It’s an understandable wish that our relationship or marriage is an effortless relf-runner.

We often hear that we have to work on a relationship and sometimes we roll our eyes and think “why does everything have to be work, can’t we ever just relax and ease up“?

In fact, the answer is: Love needs care and caring, as well as mindfulness. Often, however, we don’t see the forest for the trees. Often, we feel entangled in the same kind of discussions or conflicts. This is where couple’s therapy can come into play (or couple’s counseling, couple’s coaching, marriage counseling, I am using these terms synonymously).